Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
