I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
