pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
