I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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