They should really pass out barf bags in church
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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