I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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