1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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