It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
