A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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