What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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