What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
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He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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