My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize