How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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