I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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