Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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