Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize