How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
