party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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