it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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