My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.