Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...