Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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