i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.