TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together