I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists