Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize