You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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