brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
try to milk me bitch
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