She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
