I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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