4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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