I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
