She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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