We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
