well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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