the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
