I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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