so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
