Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
