all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
They have beer where we have blood.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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