I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
