What did we do last night that was yellow?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wear drunk well.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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