I just cut my nipple shaving
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
