yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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