Me. At least after what I've been through.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
