first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
