and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
