We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
