I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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