it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
