tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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