i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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