If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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