when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
