I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
