u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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