Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She announced her abortion via fbk
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
