so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Someone came in the potted fern
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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