I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
