Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize