i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
