you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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